Adapting to Loving Others

Just saw Adaptation (the movie) again with Nicolas Cage and Meryl Streep. I liked it so much more this time than the last time. So here's the line to remember: "It's more important who you love than who loves you."

The only time that is not true is in the things of God. God loving me is supremely important... but here's the trick: God's love is unconditional.

Historically, I have judged the quality of those loving me (all the non-gods). And most of those have been found wanting. I'm sorry, truly... globally sorry. And so, tonight, I release you all. Love me or love me not.

I can only own my own feelings, my own intent, my own motives. God will not love me more because I love God. Jesus will not love me more because I love Him. You will not love me more either. I can't make you love me. I can't be who you need me to be. I can't be who you want me to be. And you can't do any better for me. In fact, the key is for me to love you anyway. That's all.

It's fresh and real tonight. What will I remember tomorrow? May this moment stretch into the morning.

Emergent Fracturing

Well, here's an interesting blog post by Mark Sayers... The Emerging Missional Church Fractures into Mini Movements. Sigh. It's a good overview... but not too encouraging for a newbie who is trying to find her way. Nonetheless, it's important part of the canon.

I'm trying to think how I got to this point. I guess it all started with Phyllis Tickle: her books and thoughts seemed so clear and sound. And the issue she raises, this question of "authority" is affecting this current "fracturing" for sure. I think all of these fractures that Sayers talks about are just flavors, some more appealing to one group than another. He is right about one thing, it is quite similar to fractured protestantism in the form of denominations.

I think back to the beginnings of the charismatic movement (dates me) ... different flavors that developed and warped pretty quickly (is 20 years quick?). And then, aspects of it just got absorbed into local churches. Oh, originally, there were these little pockets and para-church organizations that grew and expanded out by "providing a place" for those hand-raisers to do their thing in a group setting and still attend their "home church." Oh how we prayed that the Holy Spirit would "show up" in our "dead" churches ... or some such foolishness. We all talked that way.

Now, many of these para-church organizations are struggling because those unmet needs are getting met in former "mainline" churches or mega churches.

Will the emergent movement and "emergent worship" do the same? Will it grow in small groups... pods... or cells... and as more people get a taste for it, be brought into the "mainline" churches or mega churches?

I can just see it now... the Emergent Sunday School class. LOL.

Marking the Day

Today we went to Lily's follow-up appointment for her bone scan. The news was good, although she must have a cat scan next, the doctor believes what they are seeing is benign. He is expecting the scan to verify his diagnosis. Thanks be to God.

Over the past two weeks, I have felt so helpless as we moved toward this day. I didn't want to worry needlessly or become anxious and so I took the only action I felt I could take: I fasted. It was a good fast and I am grateful for these 12 days of centering down and seeking God's unfailing love. Today I broke my fast and I am content in the embrace of God's promises.

Secondly, today, I reached the end of my first year's commitment/effort of keeping a daily devotion. I was not 100% successful at all, nonetheless, I kept at it. I marked my time and days. Tomorrow I begin my second year. For me, this is an important exercise in spiritual discipline and a responsibility to those who have shared in my bible studies.

And lastly, although it is not about an ending or a beginning, I have really embraced a second discipline of writing every day, first my morning meditations and last, before bedtime, my manuscript. This writing time is bringing me great personal joy and fulfillment. In the midst of it all, I can say, I am happy.

And so, I mark this day because I want to remember.

More Clarity on Emergence

Enjoyed this post from Emergent Village by Jonathan Brink called The Circle of Inclusion. I particularly like his comment that "In refusing to be defined by 'traditional' methods of definitions, the emerging church has taken away the traditional means of arguing." Sounds right.

It's always bothered me when people start asking questions in order to pigeon hole our differences ... "oh you're one of those!"

But then... all the comments! What a melee. I guess that goes with the territory.

Emergent Village and Me

This is so strange, really. I feel like I'm playing some kind of catch up game. The emergent church movement has been around for 10 years apparently ... it's been around so long that they are already having small group sessions and workshops to figure out what to do next ... growing pains even! It's like coming into the latest style after everyone else is starting to wear something else.

And here I am, so terribly new to the process, trying to read all that I can read and understand what is happening "out there." I'm not a theologian. I'm not in or connected to a university. I'm not an x, y or z generation. And it's taking awhile to figure out where everyone else (EV) has been so then I can understand why they are concerned about the now or the future.

I've even read where some younger folks in the emergent movement believe it has passed its prime. That seems amazing to me. I mean, most of the books have just come out in the last 4-5 years. Like everything else, it's all moving very fast.

The only avenue for "emergent conversation" for me is virtual. I'm trying to feel my way into a connection. It's all so interesting. But it's not so easy to feel a part of it. No matter what folks say about it, there is a language and a now, even a history, that must be known to participate.

Well, I'll just keep pressing on ... pressing in. If you're interested... here's a place to start: Emergent Village.

I Am, Because You Are

I've just continued to read and read as I pursue understanding about the Emergent movement and what this might mean for me. Great Emergence by Phyllis Tickle was so significant and I appreciate her style so much that I have picked up some of her early titles. It's always interesting to go backward in an author's canon, seeing the seeds of ideas that will be fully articulated later.

Anyway, I'm reading her Prayer is a Place right now. This book is more biographical in addition to her "observations" of American religion during her time as the religion editor at PW (Publisher's Weekly). But it is here that she asks many of the questions that she answers more fully in Great Emergence.

Among those questions is "what makes us human?" Historically, it has been based on Descartes aphorism, "I think, therefore I am." But as our world and culture have changed around us, as more difficult questions are examined, like abortion, euthanasia, robotics, and more, there must be further examinations to this "human-ness" question.

I was astounded as she shared her discovery of ubuntu, an African theological/philosophical term that she learned from Desmond Tutu. In essence, it means, "I am, because you are." When I read this last night, I thoroughly arrested. This is a mind-boggling concept and must be pondered (both in the heart and soul). She illustrated the idea with Quantum physics where "without the observer, the observed is not, because it is indeterminate. Once observed, it is determinate and therefore is as it has been observed."

My first thought went to Second Life, a virtual community that I participate in sporadically now. But when you visit there in your avatar form, you can only "see" the parts of the community within your "virtual perception." If you fly about (yes, that's the most popular mode of travel), the canvas unfolds (or "rezzes") as you enter the area. It unfolds. It is always there and others are rezzing their areas, but for you, what you see and interact with... that's what is real for that moment. This was my first construct.

My second thought goes back to the work I have been doing, as a result of a study of Philippians, about koinonia (or community) and the sacred other. Our human-ness is directly related to our relationships. It requires more mindfulness then, our contact with others. Community and connection then is an essential to human-ness. Isolation places tremendous stress on a person and may, actually, sap their soul.

More to think about... more to consider.

Little Beginnings

Had a great weekend with my friend in New York... was great to talk, laugh, EAT, go to the theatre, remember old times. In just a few short days, that fellowship time, renewed my heart and I am ready to begin again.

These little beginnings are what I'd like to know in my spirit life. I know that each day is new ... I mean, I know this intellectually. But I want this truth experientially.

From my friend I received unconditional love, encouragement, empathy, appreciation, and more. I know that God can do this for me... to me... with me. Every day. It's a breath. It's faith.