One More Chance ...

One more chance, one more day... if the paperwork does not come from Moscow on Wed., July 12, then the agency has told us they will have to re-schedule the court date... probably for September. I am heart sick... for the girl... for Lily... I can barely hold back the tears. No, I can't hold back the tears.

What is missing? I have asked the Lord this very question? What piece of this puzzle is still not in place and therefore blocking our way?

Today, I put over 200 miles on my car as I went yet again to Bel Air for notary certifications and then Annapolis for apostiles and then back to Towson for more certifications. Most of the day I was sick to my stomach and fighting a migraine... it felt so heavy, this attack on my body....

This day reminds me of those days, many years ago, when Mike and I were trying to have biological children... every day, a hope and then a disappointment. We had been so sure we were to be parents, to have children... it just never occurred to us that we would be unable to "bear" children. And that's how it feels now... it never occurred to us, when we started this process, that it would be plagued by so many problems, so much waiting, so many weeks and months. Of course, back then, our children did come... in God's time and in God's way... and I know, somehow, this girl, this child of God, will also come ... the situation will work out in a way that we cannot expect or understand now. Gotta trust. I know. Trust.

More waiting... more waiting... more tears....