Enjoyed this post from Emergent Village by Jonathan Brink called The Circle of Inclusion. I particularly like his comment that "In refusing to be defined by 'traditional' methods of definitions, the emerging church has taken away the traditional means of arguing." Sounds right.
It's always bothered me when people start asking questions in order to pigeon hole our differences ... "oh you're one of those!"
But then... all the comments! What a melee. I guess that goes with the territory.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Emergent Village and Me
This is so strange, really. I feel like I'm playing some kind of catch up game. The emergent church movement has been around for 10 years apparently ... it's been around so long that they are already having small group sessions and workshops to figure out what to do next ... growing pains even! It's like coming into the latest style after everyone else is starting to wear something else.
And here I am, so terribly new to the process, trying to read all that I can read and understand what is happening "out there." I'm not a theologian. I'm not in or connected to a university. I'm not an x, y or z generation. And it's taking awhile to figure out where everyone else (EV) has been so then I can understand why they are concerned about the now or the future.
I've even read where some younger folks in the emergent movement believe it has passed its prime. That seems amazing to me. I mean, most of the books have just come out in the last 4-5 years. Like everything else, it's all moving very fast.
The only avenue for "emergent conversation" for me is virtual. I'm trying to feel my way into a connection. It's all so interesting. But it's not so easy to feel a part of it. No matter what folks say about it, there is a language and a now, even a history, that must be known to participate.
Well, I'll just keep pressing on ... pressing in. If you're interested... here's a place to start: Emergent Village.
And here I am, so terribly new to the process, trying to read all that I can read and understand what is happening "out there." I'm not a theologian. I'm not in or connected to a university. I'm not an x, y or z generation. And it's taking awhile to figure out where everyone else (EV) has been so then I can understand why they are concerned about the now or the future.
I've even read where some younger folks in the emergent movement believe it has passed its prime. That seems amazing to me. I mean, most of the books have just come out in the last 4-5 years. Like everything else, it's all moving very fast.
The only avenue for "emergent conversation" for me is virtual. I'm trying to feel my way into a connection. It's all so interesting. But it's not so easy to feel a part of it. No matter what folks say about it, there is a language and a now, even a history, that must be known to participate.
Well, I'll just keep pressing on ... pressing in. If you're interested... here's a place to start: Emergent Village.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I Am, Because You Are
I've just continued to read and read as I pursue understanding about the Emergent movement and what this might mean for me. Great Emergence by Phyllis Tickle was so significant and I appreciate her style so much that I have picked up some of her early titles. It's always interesting to go backward in an author's canon, seeing the seeds of ideas that will be fully articulated later.
Anyway, I'm reading her Prayer is a Place right now. This book is more biographical in addition to her "observations" of American religion during her time as the religion editor at PW (Publisher's Weekly). But it is here that she asks many of the questions that she answers more fully in Great Emergence.
Among those questions is "what makes us human?" Historically, it has been based on Descartes aphorism, "I think, therefore I am." But as our world and culture have changed around us, as more difficult questions are examined, like abortion, euthanasia, robotics, and more, there must be further examinations to this "human-ness" question.
I was astounded as she shared her discovery of ubuntu, an African theological/philosophical term that she learned from Desmond Tutu. In essence, it means, "I am, because you are." When I read this last night, I thoroughly arrested. This is a mind-boggling concept and must be pondered (both in the heart and soul). She illustrated the idea with Quantum physics where "without the observer, the observed is not, because it is indeterminate. Once observed, it is determinate and therefore is as it has been observed."
My first thought went to Second Life, a virtual community that I participate in sporadically now. But when you visit there in your avatar form, you can only "see" the parts of the community within your "virtual perception." If you fly about (yes, that's the most popular mode of travel), the canvas unfolds (or "rezzes") as you enter the area. It unfolds. It is always there and others are rezzing their areas, but for you, what you see and interact with... that's what is real for that moment. This was my first construct.
My second thought goes back to the work I have been doing, as a result of a study of Philippians, about koinonia (or community) and the sacred other. Our human-ness is directly related to our relationships. It requires more mindfulness then, our contact with others. Community and connection then is an essential to human-ness. Isolation places tremendous stress on a person and may, actually, sap their soul.
More to think about... more to consider.
Anyway, I'm reading her Prayer is a Place right now. This book is more biographical in addition to her "observations" of American religion during her time as the religion editor at PW (Publisher's Weekly). But it is here that she asks many of the questions that she answers more fully in Great Emergence.
Among those questions is "what makes us human?" Historically, it has been based on Descartes aphorism, "I think, therefore I am." But as our world and culture have changed around us, as more difficult questions are examined, like abortion, euthanasia, robotics, and more, there must be further examinations to this "human-ness" question.
I was astounded as she shared her discovery of ubuntu, an African theological/philosophical term that she learned from Desmond Tutu. In essence, it means, "I am, because you are." When I read this last night, I thoroughly arrested. This is a mind-boggling concept and must be pondered (both in the heart and soul). She illustrated the idea with Quantum physics where "without the observer, the observed is not, because it is indeterminate. Once observed, it is determinate and therefore is as it has been observed."
My first thought went to Second Life, a virtual community that I participate in sporadically now. But when you visit there in your avatar form, you can only "see" the parts of the community within your "virtual perception." If you fly about (yes, that's the most popular mode of travel), the canvas unfolds (or "rezzes") as you enter the area. It unfolds. It is always there and others are rezzing their areas, but for you, what you see and interact with... that's what is real for that moment. This was my first construct.
My second thought goes back to the work I have been doing, as a result of a study of Philippians, about koinonia (or community) and the sacred other. Our human-ness is directly related to our relationships. It requires more mindfulness then, our contact with others. Community and connection then is an essential to human-ness. Isolation places tremendous stress on a person and may, actually, sap their soul.
More to think about... more to consider.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Little Beginnings
Had a great weekend with my friend in New York... was great to talk, laugh, EAT, go to the theatre, remember old times. In just a few short days, that fellowship time, renewed my heart and I am ready to begin again.
These little beginnings are what I'd like to know in my spirit life. I know that each day is new ... I mean, I know this intellectually. But I want this truth experientially.
From my friend I received unconditional love, encouragement, empathy, appreciation, and more. I know that God can do this for me... to me... with me. Every day. It's a breath. It's faith.
These little beginnings are what I'd like to know in my spirit life. I know that each day is new ... I mean, I know this intellectually. But I want this truth experientially.
From my friend I received unconditional love, encouragement, empathy, appreciation, and more. I know that God can do this for me... to me... with me. Every day. It's a breath. It's faith.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
My Brain is Firing Off
I'm doing FB and Twitter and in just a week of Emergent news, my brain is firing off like crazy. My book list just got 5 books longer by going to The Well. And then, I just had to check out tweets from Ashton Kutcher & the Mrs. about The Shack! And then... and then... and now, it's already moving into the night hours.
OK. Slow down. One book at a time.
But then, my bible study tonight was fabulous. These folks just signed up for what they thought would be a "traditional" study of Philippians and I'm introducing them to koinonia! And before I even read the post about the Indwelling Christ, the last half of our class was about Knowing Christ intimately, being "In Christ," and allowing the Holy Spirit to really do an authentic circumcision of the heart. Paul's desire to "know Christ" was complete and total. It was his mantra.
There's just this tremendous synchronicity going on my heart... my soul... my mind. It's all good. But ... it's fast!
OK. Slow down. One book at a time.
But then, my bible study tonight was fabulous. These folks just signed up for what they thought would be a "traditional" study of Philippians and I'm introducing them to koinonia! And before I even read the post about the Indwelling Christ, the last half of our class was about Knowing Christ intimately, being "In Christ," and allowing the Holy Spirit to really do an authentic circumcision of the heart. Paul's desire to "know Christ" was complete and total. It was his mantra.
There's just this tremendous synchronicity going on my heart... my soul... my mind. It's all good. But ... it's fast!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Studying All Things Emergent
Well, I've started doing what I love to do: reading everything I can get my hands on that will catch me up to what is happening in this "Emergent" & "Emerging" "postmodern" Christian movement. I am so enjoying this process. Of course, I'm always so envious as I roam the web finding blogs and websites and lists of places where Emergent worship is already happening: cities pretty much but not all. And so, there's hope for this little Maryland town too. :-)
So, here's what I've read or I'm reading (also can see my list of want to reads on Facebook's Virtual Bookshelf app):
Since I'm not able to have a conversation with any of these folks in person, I'll be satisfied for now with the books and the Word and my time with the Lord Himself. And maybe after I get the lay of the land, I'll enter some virtual conversations. We'll see.
I just know I want something more from my worship experience. I want to be free in my "church community." I want to be myself ... who reads all kinds of books and watches all kinds of movies and sometimes even blows it in a big way language-wise. I want to ask hard questions of myself and others. I only want one litmus test for my faith: knowing Jesus and Him crucified & resurrected for me. I want a place ... a fellowship... a desire for a true koinonia has been birthed in me through my study of Philippians.... where we can follow the "way of Jesus" together in love and humility and trust.
So, here's what I've read or I'm reading (also can see my list of want to reads on Facebook's Virtual Bookshelf app):
- The Great Emergence by Phyllis Tickle (perfect introduction to the movement along with overview of the great cataclysms in our church past)
- The New Christians: Dispatches from the Emergent Frontier by Tony Jones (Emergent Village head honcho - a loose cohort of emergent communities around the country ... and a few out of the country)
- Reading now ... an older title of Tickle's called Prayer is a Place. I love her writing style/voice. She speaks directly to me.
- Waiting in the wings: It: How Church Leaders Can Get It and Keep It by Greg Groeschel. I'm not sure where he fits into all this yet. I'm pretty sure he's not "emergent" but I think he's worth reading.
- And then I think I'm ready to go back to McLaren... whose books I bought 2 years ago, but I wasn't ready ... or didn't have the framework I have now to read them. So, I have Everything Must Change: Jesus, Global Crises, and a Revolution of Hope; and A Generous Orthodoxy
- Also, on my bookshelf, two titles by Erwin Raphael McManus: The Barbarian Way and The Unstoppable Force... but I'm not sure how he fits into this framework yet either.
Since I'm not able to have a conversation with any of these folks in person, I'll be satisfied for now with the books and the Word and my time with the Lord Himself. And maybe after I get the lay of the land, I'll enter some virtual conversations. We'll see.
I just know I want something more from my worship experience. I want to be free in my "church community." I want to be myself ... who reads all kinds of books and watches all kinds of movies and sometimes even blows it in a big way language-wise. I want to ask hard questions of myself and others. I only want one litmus test for my faith: knowing Jesus and Him crucified & resurrected for me. I want a place ... a fellowship... a desire for a true koinonia has been birthed in me through my study of Philippians.... where we can follow the "way of Jesus" together in love and humility and trust.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Emerging Worship Returns
Well, I'm putting my foot back out there. Not sure where this will head but I mentioned to Randy that I think we should transform our Sunday night service into an Emerging Worship service... a dream I had some two years ago but had to let go... is it time now?
In the meantime, just discovered there's a "EM" movement in the Methodist Church (go figure) and one in the Presbyterian denomination (ok... I've been away for awhile!). So, maybe it's actually passe and I need to keep looking. :-)
Actually, I feel drawn to renew my interest ... starting here. I know this one thing for sure--worship in its current design is no longer engaging my soul or my heart. It is time for meaningful change before I just drop out.
In the meantime, just discovered there's a "EM" movement in the Methodist Church (go figure) and one in the Presbyterian denomination (ok... I've been away for awhile!). So, maybe it's actually passe and I need to keep looking. :-)
Actually, I feel drawn to renew my interest ... starting here. I know this one thing for sure--worship in its current design is no longer engaging my soul or my heart. It is time for meaningful change before I just drop out.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Golden Notebook
Well, I've decided it's time to reread The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing. As much as I hate to admit it, my blogging has become compartmentalized and some pieces are losing their identity. I spend so much effort on my bible study blog right now ... but that course is almost done so it may languish until January... and then, there's my meditations blog that is current due to our current "50 days with Jesus" series (I love echoing topics when I have a strong sense of where things are headed)... and then, there's my children of heaven blog that has been waiting for movement with the pictures from Africa but I ran out of funds ... and finally there's this one, my true heart for so long, but no focus now.
It's time to connect to the golden moments. It's time to capture them as there have been many, but they careened right on through and had no moment in the sun. For a time, it was the writing of my manuscript that absorbed all of my efforts. That's not a bad thing. I'm still counting on a resurgence there as well. I'm praying for that.
And then, there was the death of Jan Manna. I so wanted to write a memorial to her. She was such a fine woman, a kind and lovely lady whose faith was a beacon for many.
And most recently, the change in my jobs from web guru to public servant. I'm still reeling at this huge change in my work. I chose to change... it's a good thing, but it's a testimony to the internal transformations as well.
Yes, it's time for this "notebook" to be cracked open.
It's time to connect to the golden moments. It's time to capture them as there have been many, but they careened right on through and had no moment in the sun. For a time, it was the writing of my manuscript that absorbed all of my efforts. That's not a bad thing. I'm still counting on a resurgence there as well. I'm praying for that.
And then, there was the death of Jan Manna. I so wanted to write a memorial to her. She was such a fine woman, a kind and lovely lady whose faith was a beacon for many.
And most recently, the change in my jobs from web guru to public servant. I'm still reeling at this huge change in my work. I chose to change... it's a good thing, but it's a testimony to the internal transformations as well.
Yes, it's time for this "notebook" to be cracked open.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Choosing Civility
It's pretty amazing to me that P.M. Forni's book, Choosing Civility, is becoming a runaway concept that is reaching into the fabric of everyday lives. Why has he reached the "tipping point" now? I don't know. Here in Maryland, it's even appearing as a county-wide Choose Civility Project in Howard County. Are these new "rules" ... these 25 rules of considerate conduct? Not really. As far as I've read in the book, it's basic Christian stuff.
About 3-4 weeks agao, I got to hear him speak at a library conference of all things! He was wonderful. Of course, that Italian accent doesn't hurt either. I say, Go for it! If it's easier to remember Forni's rule, "think the best" than it is Luke 22:24-30.
In case you're not the familiar, here are the "rules."
About 3-4 weeks agao, I got to hear him speak at a library conference of all things! He was wonderful. Of course, that Italian accent doesn't hurt either. I say, Go for it! If it's easier to remember Forni's rule, "think the best" than it is Luke 22:24-30.
In case you're not the familiar, here are the "rules."
- Pay attention
- Acknowledge others
- Think the best
- Listen
- Be inclusive
- Speak kindly
- Don't speak ill
- Accept and give praise
- Respect even a subtle "no"
- Respect others' opinions
- Mind your body
- Be agreeable
- Keep it down (and rediscover silence)
- Respect other people's time
- Respect other people's space
- Apologize earnestly
- Assert yourself
- Avoid personal questions
- Care for your guests
- Be a considerate guest
- Think twice before asking for favors
- Refrain from idle complaints
- Accept and give constructive criticism
- Respect the environment and be gentle to animals
- Don't shift responsibility and blame
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Just an Update
Oh, as we get older the body certainly does put a crimp in the old lifestyle. Endoscopy results were not great ... GERD for sure! Lovely. And inflamed esophagus and stomach lining. Doc took a biopsy. Yuk. Results in 10 days. Ok, Lord. Help me "make meaning" of all this.
Bible Study class tonight... in general, I think it's going well. Losing a few here and there, I'll be surprised if there are 10 by end... 12 weeks (plus the lost weeks now, make 15) is a long time to commit to a study. It's a good study, I think, and gives me some flights of fancy.
Last night, taught my new "Get Organized & Get Things Done" mini-workshop based on David Allen's GTD book. That went well although I had to laugh because most of the people in the class were retired. That's not a good sign. I figured I'd have lots of time to get organized by then. :-)
This weekend is busy for the kids... Lily goes to the Reunion gathering for Chrysalis, Saturday, Lily & Sergei go to 4th day workshop to learn about being on a team, and Kip, all weekend is in lifeguard training. Their lives are starting to look like mine.
Bible Study class tonight... in general, I think it's going well. Losing a few here and there, I'll be surprised if there are 10 by end... 12 weeks (plus the lost weeks now, make 15) is a long time to commit to a study. It's a good study, I think, and gives me some flights of fancy.
Last night, taught my new "Get Organized & Get Things Done" mini-workshop based on David Allen's GTD book. That went well although I had to laugh because most of the people in the class were retired. That's not a good sign. I figured I'd have lots of time to get organized by then. :-)
This weekend is busy for the kids... Lily goes to the Reunion gathering for Chrysalis, Saturday, Lily & Sergei go to 4th day workshop to learn about being on a team, and Kip, all weekend is in lifeguard training. Their lives are starting to look like mine.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Challenging Contentment
I've been sick all week and I can't help but wonder as I look at my previous post if this isn't a challenge to that contentment I was feeling. Everything was busy but buzzing right along. I was taking lots of steps in lots of directions, but I was very clear headed. I was even exercising regularly.
Then, whap! I get this mysterious stomach ailment... no one's sure yet what it is... sonogram negative, catscan not very illuminating, and next I get an endoscopy. It's taken the wind out of my sail. I'm trying not to get down about the whole thing, but it's hard to do what I do when I'm down physically. I've been in bed a lot and lethargic and I've watched so many episodes of Law and Order reruns that I can almost put them in order. I'm hungry but afraid to eat ... although that's a little better now that I've got something stronger for the gas ... oh yeah, gas is such a joke until you have so much of it that you can hardly breathe for the pain of it. I felt like a balloon and I just wanted a needle to POP me. So that part's better, but now there's this lingering ache right below the sternum... sigh. We'll see.
It does make you think though... I even contemplated what it might mean to be in the early stages of something serious. Why does the mind go there? I guess because I'm usually healthy... so I'm not so good when I'm sick. What would I do though? How would I react? How would I use my days? How would I express my faith? How would walk the last walk? That's what fear does... lots of questions.
Well, I don't know and can't know. So, I choose today to pass this one up to the Sovereign King. Unlock the mystery as You will.
Then, whap! I get this mysterious stomach ailment... no one's sure yet what it is... sonogram negative, catscan not very illuminating, and next I get an endoscopy. It's taken the wind out of my sail. I'm trying not to get down about the whole thing, but it's hard to do what I do when I'm down physically. I've been in bed a lot and lethargic and I've watched so many episodes of Law and Order reruns that I can almost put them in order. I'm hungry but afraid to eat ... although that's a little better now that I've got something stronger for the gas ... oh yeah, gas is such a joke until you have so much of it that you can hardly breathe for the pain of it. I felt like a balloon and I just wanted a needle to POP me. So that part's better, but now there's this lingering ache right below the sternum... sigh. We'll see.
It does make you think though... I even contemplated what it might mean to be in the early stages of something serious. Why does the mind go there? I guess because I'm usually healthy... so I'm not so good when I'm sick. What would I do though? How would I react? How would I use my days? How would I express my faith? How would walk the last walk? That's what fear does... lots of questions.
Well, I don't know and can't know. So, I choose today to pass this one up to the Sovereign King. Unlock the mystery as You will.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
It's All Good...
Too many blogs ... too many projects ... too many thoughts ... ah well.
Today... let's look at today. I am working on a new "overall" project from David Allen's GTD (Getting Things Done)... in other words, I'm trying to organize my life (again!) har har. Actually, I am more hopeful this time as the system is more holistic and covers both my work life and my home life. I'm even teaching a class on Monday (oh my) on this topic. Actually, I did this to myself on purpose... learn by teaching and doing at the same time. It keeps me focused.
On Thursday, Feb 7th, I'm back to teaching a Bible Study, this time, based on a workbook by Nancy Leigh DeMoss... I have some issues with this, but I'm working through it. I hope to talk to Craig about the tension between being humble ... I mean, there's a Catch22 here... if you say you're humble, you're not, etc. Again, the class is keeping me in the Word and that's a good thing, despite the extra stress. More on this at the Wisdom Seekers blog.
I'm trying to get some of the Africa pictures ready for Rachelville. Actually, Rachelville started out as a website and pictures by a very sick little girl who created it while struggling leukemia and a number of other mind-boggling ailments. She died May 17, 2000. Sometime later, her parents discovered Second Life, a virtual world where they could create Rachel's dream in a simulated environment. I have entered this new virtual world through the library and by the by, met Rachel's father, Bill Sowers, known as Rocky Vallejo in Second Life and he has offered me an opportunity to display some of the kids' pictures from Africa. We hope to complete this project by the first of February. I will be talking more about this project as well as the follow-up photograpy project on the Children of Heaven blog.
Today is catch up on all the blogs. It's time.
Oh, by the way, my heart is ... well, I don't know, it feels pretty good. I am more content with myself than I have ever been. And that's a good thing!
Today... let's look at today. I am working on a new "overall" project from David Allen's GTD (Getting Things Done)... in other words, I'm trying to organize my life (again!) har har. Actually, I am more hopeful this time as the system is more holistic and covers both my work life and my home life. I'm even teaching a class on Monday (oh my) on this topic. Actually, I did this to myself on purpose... learn by teaching and doing at the same time. It keeps me focused.
On Thursday, Feb 7th, I'm back to teaching a Bible Study, this time, based on a workbook by Nancy Leigh DeMoss... I have some issues with this, but I'm working through it. I hope to talk to Craig about the tension between being humble ... I mean, there's a Catch22 here... if you say you're humble, you're not, etc. Again, the class is keeping me in the Word and that's a good thing, despite the extra stress. More on this at the Wisdom Seekers blog.
I'm trying to get some of the Africa pictures ready for Rachelville. Actually, Rachelville started out as a website and pictures by a very sick little girl who created it while struggling leukemia and a number of other mind-boggling ailments. She died May 17, 2000. Sometime later, her parents discovered Second Life, a virtual world where they could create Rachel's dream in a simulated environment. I have entered this new virtual world through the library and by the by, met Rachel's father, Bill Sowers, known as Rocky Vallejo in Second Life and he has offered me an opportunity to display some of the kids' pictures from Africa. We hope to complete this project by the first of February. I will be talking more about this project as well as the follow-up photograpy project on the Children of Heaven blog.
Today is catch up on all the blogs. It's time.
Oh, by the way, my heart is ... well, I don't know, it feels pretty good. I am more content with myself than I have ever been. And that's a good thing!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Return from Africa
We have been home from Africa almost 3 weeks. It's hard to believe. The journey was amazing. That trip was predominately tracked on the Children of Heaven blog. But, life came at me fast and I've barely had a moment to process the trip. I did manage to put up some of the kids' pics from Zambia on FlickR ... but the Namibia pics still need to be touched and then, there's my own pictures. I really hope the holiday time gives me some slow down time since we're not traveling this year. The big news is that I'll be doing a "gallery opening" with some of the pics on Second Life. It will be a big job... but it's a clear target to get the images up. More on that later.
Right now, just want to stop running: holiday madness; luncheons; lunch dates; presents; overseas packages; my car needing work; Mike's car dying; buying a "new" car; visa card shock... what more could there be. It clouds all that I experienced in Africa... the whirl of western culture clamoring... when kids are waiting for someone to notice... we're dying!
Right now, just want to stop running: holiday madness; luncheons; lunch dates; presents; overseas packages; my car needing work; Mike's car dying; buying a "new" car; visa card shock... what more could there be. It clouds all that I experienced in Africa... the whirl of western culture clamoring... when kids are waiting for someone to notice... we're dying!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Only By His Sacrifice
This slideshow was put together originally for a women's retreat, but the images were so powerful I wanted to share them. Special thanks goes to Jacques Lilavois who I discovered on the web and who gave me permission to use his beautiful song, By Your Mercy. I'm still learning about Animoto, so I may re-work the kinks. But it's a pretty good start. Hope this touches you as it has touched me working on it.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Why Aren't We Praying?
Here's the topic I think... it's somehow connected with this urgency I felt last week to investigate further the 'praying of the psalms.' And then, within days, Craig came and asked if I would do the sermon on the 29th-30th weekend.
I'm in the collecting stage. I don't have much time... I know so much has been written and said about prayer... Lord... what do you have to say this day... this week?
Praying about praying. That's pretty funny.
I'm in the collecting stage. I don't have much time... I know so much has been written and said about prayer... Lord... what do you have to say this day... this week?
Praying about praying. That's pretty funny.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Empire - Alternate Future and Now
Just want to thank Orson Scott Card for his book, Empire.
On a whim, I grabbed this title as an audio book from our library. At first, I thought I was going to be doused with a particularly strong right-wing political/cultural point-of-view through his main character, Reuben... only to have that character die about 1/2 way through the book and left his "left-wing" wife to carry on as his widow. OK.... that got my attention. :-)
I wanted to race through the book ... but that's not possible since I can't "race" through a talking book ... anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to discover an Afterword in Card's own voice espousing his views on the polarization of America and how difficult it is to straddle (or dwell between) any of those "camps."
I am also a librarian... free speech! Free to read! All of that. And yep, I've read all the Harry Potter books, so there! I believe in free will. But I also wouldn't put American Psycho in a library if I could help it and I'm glad our computers are filtered (particularly after a man actually "licked" one of our computers while watching pornography).
I am a strong believer... Jesus Christ is my rock and my anchor. I love to worship and I enjoy contemporary Christian music. I also like jazz.... and even, on occasion, some R&B.
I'm a techie and a blogger and I even have a presence on Second Life.... these are connections and social networks I enjoy building. But these elements of "me" are also experiencing a certain type of tension. After all, who will read what I write? Who is my audience?
As a result, I feel I must constantly modulate my faith, my language, and even my point of view around the extremes of my colleagues at work as well as my faith family. I must prove that I am still "ok" - that I am normal or faithful or whatever phrase gives comfort to my circles of influence.
So, I'll just say it again, I appreciate Orson Scott Card's voice. It's not that I agree with all things Card either... we would definitely separate on our beliefs in the deity of Christ (Card holds fast to the Mormon teachings... )... but I will say, I believe I can give him room there knowing that he would do the same for me.
On a whim, I grabbed this title as an audio book from our library. At first, I thought I was going to be doused with a particularly strong right-wing political/cultural point-of-view through his main character, Reuben... only to have that character die about 1/2 way through the book and left his "left-wing" wife to carry on as his widow. OK.... that got my attention. :-)
I wanted to race through the book ... but that's not possible since I can't "race" through a talking book ... anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to discover an Afterword in Card's own voice espousing his views on the polarization of America and how difficult it is to straddle (or dwell between) any of those "camps."
" ... any rational observer has to see that the Left and Right in America are screaming the most vile accusations at each other all the time. We are fully polarized -- if you accept one idea that sounds like it belongs to either the blue or the red, you are assumed -- nay, required -- to espouse the entire rest of the package, even though there is no reason why supporting the war against terrorism should imply you're in favor of banning all abortions and against restricting the availability of firearms; no reason why being in favor of keeping government-imposed limits on the free market should imply you also are in favor of giving legal status to homosexual couples and against building nuclear reactors. These issues are not remotely related, and yet if you hold any of one group's views, you are hated by the other group as if you believed them all; and if you hold most of one group's views, but not all, you are treated as if you were a traitor for deviating even slightly from the party line. " Read more.These extremes haunt me in my own church and work life where assumptions are made every day about my "political party" (even though I insist on being called an Independent) and my "world view. " Example: One Sunday morning a kind-hearted soul had the temerity to describe a man he met as being a "Liberal" and an "Environmentalist" - as though these were really good examples of how far the man had strayed from the truth ... and apparently, into sin. For heaven's sake!
I am also a librarian... free speech! Free to read! All of that. And yep, I've read all the Harry Potter books, so there! I believe in free will. But I also wouldn't put American Psycho in a library if I could help it and I'm glad our computers are filtered (particularly after a man actually "licked" one of our computers while watching pornography).
I am a strong believer... Jesus Christ is my rock and my anchor. I love to worship and I enjoy contemporary Christian music. I also like jazz.... and even, on occasion, some R&B.
I'm a techie and a blogger and I even have a presence on Second Life.... these are connections and social networks I enjoy building. But these elements of "me" are also experiencing a certain type of tension. After all, who will read what I write? Who is my audience?
As a result, I feel I must constantly modulate my faith, my language, and even my point of view around the extremes of my colleagues at work as well as my faith family. I must prove that I am still "ok" - that I am normal or faithful or whatever phrase gives comfort to my circles of influence.
So, I'll just say it again, I appreciate Orson Scott Card's voice. It's not that I agree with all things Card either... we would definitely separate on our beliefs in the deity of Christ (Card holds fast to the Mormon teachings... )... but I will say, I believe I can give him room there knowing that he would do the same for me.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Pressures of Time
I am maintaining too many blogs! Most of the rest are about topics of interest or for library work, but this is my heart and I am setting my heart aside too often. Ah well, tomorrow great niece, Jaana, comes from Estonia and we will show her all the "stuff" - from DC to NYC to the ocean... it's tourist time.
Tomorrow afternoon we celebrate Lily's first Gotcha Day! Hard to believe she's been here a year. We are opening our doors to neighbors and friends to drop by... it means so much to her, I do hope people will come.
And I'm doing an Emmaus weekend... what was I thinking to work on a team this fall with our Africa mission trip right behind it? Well, Lord, you're the commissioner. I'm trusting in each of these commissions... but keep my mind clear, my heart pure, and my temper in check! :-)
Tomorrow afternoon we celebrate Lily's first Gotcha Day! Hard to believe she's been here a year. We are opening our doors to neighbors and friends to drop by... it means so much to her, I do hope people will come.
And I'm doing an Emmaus weekend... what was I thinking to work on a team this fall with our Africa mission trip right behind it? Well, Lord, you're the commissioner. I'm trusting in each of these commissions... but keep my mind clear, my heart pure, and my temper in check! :-)
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
To be Known or Not Known
Just posted a comment on a stranger's blog because she was wondering if she should tell her current boyfriend that she blogs. Most of her readers commented with a "no" ... and then it hit me. As more people know that I blog here - the less free I feel to write what I really think or believe or experience. That's not good! It's a conundrum.
It must go back to the arbitrary cubicles we create in our lives. This part of my life is private, this part is not. This part is full of pain, this part is not. This part holds my current angst... oh Lord, can I write about that? What if ... what if... he reads it or she reads it? The only solution is to go back to total anonymity ... to start over, that is, in order to have total freedom in my writing. Don't name names... re-work situations to keep everyone safe, etc. Crap, crap, crap!
I'm reminded of The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing. It's been years since I read that book and perhaps, I'd view it differently today (probably need to re-read it) ... but the part I remember was her way of writing about the various aspects of her world in different journals(differentiated by color as I recall) ... I even remember trying it once... buying a variety of journals, thinking I would write categorically about my life. It sounded good in concept and yet I couldn't maintain it. The categories didn't seem so clear once I actually sat down to write.
And yet, there's something of this problem in blogging. This is my inaugural blog and it is still the closest one to a personal journal or journey. It started on the spiritual side, but then got interwoven in our adoption of Lily. When our daughter finally arrived, I wanted to be honest about our transition period, but I was counseled against it (for her safety) and for any resentments or hurts she might experience if she ever read about my rollercoaster feelings.
In the end, my writing dropped dramatically this year because I no longer felt safe in my previous anonymity. It's a paradox: I write to be known and yet I don't want to be known by those who know me (or think they know me). And yet, don't we write to be read? Don't we blog for the same reason?
It must go back to the arbitrary cubicles we create in our lives. This part of my life is private, this part is not. This part is full of pain, this part is not. This part holds my current angst... oh Lord, can I write about that? What if ... what if... he reads it or she reads it? The only solution is to go back to total anonymity ... to start over, that is, in order to have total freedom in my writing. Don't name names... re-work situations to keep everyone safe, etc. Crap, crap, crap!
I'm reminded of The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing. It's been years since I read that book and perhaps, I'd view it differently today (probably need to re-read it) ... but the part I remember was her way of writing about the various aspects of her world in different journals(differentiated by color as I recall) ... I even remember trying it once... buying a variety of journals, thinking I would write categorically about my life. It sounded good in concept and yet I couldn't maintain it. The categories didn't seem so clear once I actually sat down to write.
And yet, there's something of this problem in blogging. This is my inaugural blog and it is still the closest one to a personal journal or journey. It started on the spiritual side, but then got interwoven in our adoption of Lily. When our daughter finally arrived, I wanted to be honest about our transition period, but I was counseled against it (for her safety) and for any resentments or hurts she might experience if she ever read about my rollercoaster feelings.
In the end, my writing dropped dramatically this year because I no longer felt safe in my previous anonymity. It's a paradox: I write to be known and yet I don't want to be known by those who know me (or think they know me). And yet, don't we write to be read? Don't we blog for the same reason?
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Remembering Yoki
Tuesday night, May 15, 2007, Yolanda King died. Mike called me with the news Wednesday morning and I was stunned. How could this be? She's younger than me.Yoki lived in the limelight as well as the shadow of an amazing father. During the 3 years I knew her in graduate school, she tried not to capitalize on her notoriety. She was kind and gentle and thoughtful and above all else, she wanted to be liked for herself, not for her position in the Black society of the early 70's. She wanted a career in the theatre and for this reason, she placed herself in one of the most rigorous acting programs of that time. We were there in the years of Peter Kass and Olympia Dukakis.
I remember our tears in acting class as we tried to find our individual "truths." I remember when it was just Yoki, Bil, Claire, and Roy. Looking back, I can see we were just five very dysfunctional friends trying to "make meaning" by mashing up modern dance, poetry, and theatre. We were pretty darn interesting despite all the craziness. I remember the gospel music. I remember going to Harlem churches with Yoki... a much different experience than going to Harlem alone. I remember going to Atlanta for a summer residency at the King Center and meeting the extended King family of sister, brothers, uncles & aunts. I remember Ebenezer Baptist Church. I remember sunbathing in Coretta Scott King's backyard (what was I thinking?). I remember the house: a museum to Dr. King ... every inch of wall space covered with pictures of him and his family, friends, and political contacts. I remember seeing his Nobel Peace prize.
I remember Yoki's apartment on 8th street. I remember her kitten falling out of the window. I remember her diets. I remember the times we would hang out at Lady Astor's. I remember the rehearsals ... endless rehearals on one of Bil's pieces. I remember the parties. I remember celebrating my baptism. I remember celebrating her birthday. I remember dressing up. I remember her beautiful, sensuous lips. I remember her confusion as she struggled with the demands of her heritage.
I remember Mrs. King coming to our graduation ceremony in Washington Square. Yoki arranged it so my own mother and brother could sit with Mrs. King. It was a high point for my mother ... and for me.... to have my graduation pictures sprinkled with the King family. Mrs. King was one of the most gracious women I have ever met. She taught her daughters to be the same.
I remember the last time I saw Yoki, many years later, when she came to Maryland on a Black History month whirlwind. I met her latest boyfriend and she met my husband. We talked about the old days over dinner. And then, like a throwback, the tires of her rental car were slashed so we had to take them to the airport. Some things never seem to change.
Over the years, I have always received Christmas cards and announcements from Yoki, but of course, I was no longer on her truly personal list and most of the correspondence was done by her staff. All the same, I counted her friend for three intense years of my life.
May God give peace to your soul, Yoki, old friend.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Meditations and Other Disciplines
As a gift to my church, I have created another blog: Meditations from Zion... this blog, for now, is a daily scripture, as selected by our pastor for contemplation during Lent. After Lent is over, I hope the blog will become a place for people to "echo" the sermons or share a story about connecting/reflecting God in their lives.
I've continued my daily prayer fairly consistently and more importantly, with a heart to do not just as a requirement. I've found my daily commitment to Practicing the Presence to be worthwhile and I've added Examen ... this discipline is important as a review of the day. I had hoped to do it in the evenings, but I can't seem to remember to incorporate a quiet time before I go to bed. I think that's something to move toward. Nonetheless, I am finding the Examen valuable even in the morning as I think about my previous day(s). The two questions that work best for me in this discipline is when did I feel most connected to God and the opposite, when did I feel most disconnected. Because of my nature, I tend to dwell too long on the disconnected moments. Inevitably, they are moments of anger or gossip or times when I want someone to think more highly of me as I tell of how someone else put me down. It's not a happy time to remember. But slowly I am learning to turn these disconnected moments over to God. That is, after all, the point. And conversely, give thanks for the connected time.
I've continued my daily prayer fairly consistently and more importantly, with a heart to do not just as a requirement. I've found my daily commitment to Practicing the Presence to be worthwhile and I've added Examen ... this discipline is important as a review of the day. I had hoped to do it in the evenings, but I can't seem to remember to incorporate a quiet time before I go to bed. I think that's something to move toward. Nonetheless, I am finding the Examen valuable even in the morning as I think about my previous day(s). The two questions that work best for me in this discipline is when did I feel most connected to God and the opposite, when did I feel most disconnected. Because of my nature, I tend to dwell too long on the disconnected moments. Inevitably, they are moments of anger or gossip or times when I want someone to think more highly of me as I tell of how someone else put me down. It's not a happy time to remember. But slowly I am learning to turn these disconnected moments over to God. That is, after all, the point. And conversely, give thanks for the connected time.
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