Things are still not working out with our adoption. It is almost 2 years that we have been in this process with one setback after another. I have cried out to God to break the chains of bureaucracy and cultural distrust, but so far, to no avail. Oh heart.
Most of all, I grieve for her... for Lily. Each week, when we speak (through an interpreter), she asks, "Any news yet?" "Please, no more bad news," she cries. "Will this ever happen, really? Tell me the truth," she declares, "I have one foot in the United States and one foot in Russia and I cannot bear it." Oh sweet Lily. Sweet girl, I am so sorry.
Last week, I cried on the phone and she chastised me. "You must be strong, Irmiya (for it is Lily that coined that name for me). If you are not strong, then I hurt even more." And so, each week, I try to find something positive, something full of hope, some lighthearted story about our dogs or cats or even something silly about me or Mike. She got a big kick out of my story about backing out of the garage and annihilating my sideview mirror. (Of course, Mike didn't think it was all that funny, $400 later.)
Anyway, if you're reading, then pray. Our current hurdle: the local adoption agency is refusing to "update" our home study because our current "placing agency" from out of state is still not accredited. (Soon, they say, accreditation soon... for months it's been their chorus.) If the local agency won't update, we might be in a position of having to start all over again. More time and more time and more money and more money. We are starting looking at other possibilities ... even trying a private adoption, but there are no guarantees there either. So, right now, let's just face this one problem: get the home study updated. Then, decide what to do next.
I've been reading the psalms. They are truly amazing. One (maybe two) per day during my quiet time. It's astounding how there is always a line or two that captures the heart of a feeling, a concern, a fear, a yearning. Over the weekend, Psalm 74:19, 22, "Do not hand over the life of your dove to beasts... Rise up, O God, and defend your cause." Oh Lord, have mercy on your little turtledove, Lily. Have mercy and grant the desires of her heart to come to America. Sustain her hope in midst of waiting... and ours.
