Thursday, February 01, 2007

Unsettling Life on Purpose

OK, I confess, I went out for a job interview. Now, that's an experience I haven't had in a long time. That was an interesting, but terribly unsettling process. Just re-doing the old resume sends a billion shivers up my spine: what if? what if? what if? And then, you mention it, sort of in passing to the family ... what will they say? In this case, the kids were pretty supportive... the husband, well, not so much. But of course, moving is supoosedly THE most stressful thing to do for a man... that's what I've heard. So, you put out the resume and take a breath. It's fine. Nothing happens.

Then, a phone call and suddenly, you've scheduled an interview and the what if bumps multiply exponentially. I even found myself internet surfing the real estate market. It's a little shocking. Is the grass really greener over there? I'm not so sure... will I still have a room to myself where I can contemplate ... or maybe just think about contemplating? Will I still have a fantastic triple window that draws me to the wonder of the woods and their seasonal transformations? Will I have custom made storage shelves? Will I have a room for all my craft supplies that I dream of using one day soon.

And then, the interview itself actually happens. It was wonderful really. The stars aligned and I felt like I really had something to give to this new organization. Everything hopeful and helpful came bubbling forth. The job seemed perfect for me... for my personality ... can I see myself walking up these stairs and down this hallway? Can I see myself behind that desk? Can I see myself in a corner office?

To top it all off... I get an offer. Whoa! That's not supposed to happen. I mean, I was looking... I'm always looking, just in case. But I didn't really expect an offer on my first time out of the gate. Now what!

We had a family conference... a really serious one. And in the end, the timing is just not quite right. The offer, not quite enough to disrupt everything and everyone. It was a flurry.... a great, amazing flurry. And I learned so much about myself. I'm not sure what the next event will be. But there are options now that I didn't really believe were there before. As ole' Martha Stewart would say, "that's a good thing."