I've been sick all week and I can't help but wonder as I look at my previous post if this isn't a challenge to that contentment I was feeling. Everything was busy but buzzing right along. I was taking lots of steps in lots of directions, but I was very clear headed. I was even exercising regularly.
Then, whap! I get this mysterious stomach ailment... no one's sure yet what it is... sonogram negative, catscan not very illuminating, and next I get an endoscopy. It's taken the wind out of my sail. I'm trying not to get down about the whole thing, but it's hard to do what I do when I'm down physically. I've been in bed a lot and lethargic and I've watched so many episodes of Law and Order reruns that I can almost put them in order. I'm hungry but afraid to eat ... although that's a little better now that I've got something stronger for the gas ... oh yeah, gas is such a joke until you have so much of it that you can hardly breathe for the pain of it. I felt like a balloon and I just wanted a needle to POP me. So that part's better, but now there's this lingering ache right below the sternum... sigh. We'll see.
It does make you think though... I even contemplated what it might mean to be in the early stages of something serious. Why does the mind go there? I guess because I'm usually healthy... so I'm not so good when I'm sick. What would I do though? How would I react? How would I use my days? How would I express my faith? How would walk the last walk? That's what fear does... lots of questions.
Well, I don't know and can't know. So, I choose today to pass this one up to the Sovereign King. Unlock the mystery as You will.
