Girl Time

I am almost to the point where having a daughter is becoming "some part" of normal. Lily is calling out the girl of me, a part I didn't realize I had somehow lost over the years. I was never much of a girly-girl but I do remember long talks with the girlfriends of my youth. I think it's a good thing for her ... for me, to capture these feelings, these connections now. As her English improves and she finds new friends, our special times will probably diminish.

But for now, she looks for me at night, right before bed, and asks for talking time. Tonight, we looked at one of my old yearbooks and she laughed as I showed her pictures of old boyfriends. She wants to know my story and she wants me to know hers.

Today is Kip's birthday. It was fun to have another girl in the house insisting that all the presents be wrapped and secrets kept. I am amazed, really, that my little boy is fourteen. And soon, I know it will happen too soon, he will be bringing a young woman home to meet Mom and Dad. Will there be girl time then too? I wonder.

Each New Day

Like this sun rising over Assateague Island, each new day has been an adventure... a discovery... through watching Lily transform right before our eyes and a new family transform from four to five. The boys have been great. I'm so proud of them. I'm so proud of her. She's an amazing girl. We're getting better at this new family each day.

I have relished my time at home as a full time mom (for a few weeks), but with the start of school on August 28th, so did my work (at 3/4 time), so I still have after school with the kids. It's a special time. I didn't realize what I was missing before. There's an energy that explodes from the kids right after school. I see them in a different way than I did at 6 pm after work.

The only thing I have too little of is time alone. I look at this sunrise and remember what it took to crawl out of bed while the kids were sacked out in the motel.... to drive over onto the island ... to wait for the sun. When I started this journaling journey, over a year ago, I created a space to call my own and I created a morning vigil. I trained myself to rise early and have that alone time. Now, even 5 am isn't early enough. I'm really tired. Lily rises almost as early to get ready and catch her school bus by 6:30. Do I go back to the late night? I don't know. I'll need to squeeze something out. I need to feel the rising son in my soul.