Hiatus and More Beginnings

Two months. I can't believe I haven't written here since October. But I know the reason, really. I have not been able to split my energies to include the blog. Even today, I am torn with other responsibilities and desires. I need to prepare for my "personal mission" workshop that's coming up in a few short weeks, I need to return to my manuscript (which came to a screeching halt in the face of the holidays and preparations for my problem-solving/creative thinking workshop in December) and I have "the bills" which appear to have a little gremlin perched above them who screeches obscenities at me for not paying "the bills" before the New Year. ("You'll be sorry," it squeals, "you didn't pay your bills by the New Year, you'll be poor all year long!" - ah yes, I remember now, that was my mother who always said that.)

And yet, despite the cacophony, this New Year heralds sweet promises. Historically, New Year's Day hasn't meant much, I prefer my birthday as a time marker, but 2006 feels full of change and wonder. All right, I confess, I do have a few little rituals like wearing something new on New Year's Day (today it's pink socks) and having money in my wallet; and Mike has always insisted we eat black-eyed peas and spinach, so I've gotten sucked into that one after 20 years as well. I also make a few standard resolutions for improvement: the perennial diet, the unread classics, the unorganized desk, the unpainted bathroom (or bedroom, or closet - there's always something that needs to be painted) etc.

But truly, there's a hopefulness in this year that I haven't had in a long time. Perhaps it's because I sense big changes are coming. Perhaps it's because I believe in my mission and I'm actively pursuing it. I don't know. But I am back and I want to tackle the challenge of chronicling this time of creativity as best I can.

Here's my latest read: If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland, original copyright 1936. It's awesome. Oh, that I would have had such a mentor to spark my writing, my desires, my heart. Oh, that I could become more like her and spark the hearts of others. I can. I will.