This is a question I have posed a number of times while seeking peace in the midst of a storm. What will peace look like? Or seeking change in a situation of endless sameness. What will change look like? Seeking renewal in a state of redundancy. What will renewal look like? Seeking love in a marriage of 23 years. What will love look like? Seeking healing in a time of pain. What will healing look like? Or feel like? Or taste like? Or sound like?
I don't really know. No one does. And that's the point. Over the years, I've pretty much been up there with the rest of the control freaks ... always looking ahead. I called it "planned spontaneity." But for something to be wholly new, it must be exactly that - new. Only after letting go of what I think "it" should look like, will "it" really manifest. A struggling marriage is not free to become something new if we (or I) keep trying to mold the change.
When I was still in acting school, one of my instructors used to encourage us to "remain in a state of confusion" as long as we could tolerate it... because it was from there that a truly "creative" solution would find life... be born... People are generally too quick to grab on to the first good-sounding answer. God promises that waiting and praying are much more productive... that is, if what you really want is something new. I do.
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